


Seedling's Dream

by Frozenleaf



Category: Tales of Graces
Genre: Gen, Other, an attempt at full on angst, post-game fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16113071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frozenleaf/pseuds/Frozenleaf
Summary: For all his life, Lambda yearned for the peace of oblivion, to be rid of everything that caused him pain. To live in peace. If only he knew what it would cost him.





	Seedling's Dream

_Once, there was a young boy who discovered a lost seed. He planted it in his yard and took care of it everyday. Over time, the lost seed grew up and blossomed into a beautiful flower. It turned into a bright, shining star that watched over everyone. This was its way of thanking the boy who had been so very kind to it._

* * *

The void was cold and dark. There was no sound; no light. Not a trace of life or existence.

Once, this was all Lambda wanted.

An end to his suffering. A rest for his weary soul. The world was full of light and noise and pain— and Lambda had wanted all of it to just stop. To be rid of the incessant pressure that he could never shake off, that kept him from finding peace. From being  _whole._

He was whole now.

Nothing could touch him here. Surrounded by an inky blackness that stretched to eternity, he was finally alone.

Finally at peace.

And in the darkness, Lambda dreamed.

* * *

As long as he could remember, every breath he took was pure agony because it kept him alive. Wounds covered his body. Anger and pain tinged his every thought.

He thought he finally found peace during the last big clash he had with Protos Heis— when death seemed so close; so easy. All he needed was to let go and he'd finally be  _free._

But then he felt the strangest sensation.

Soft, warm. Solid. A pressure against his hand. It was something that he had never felt before. When he opened his eyes, someone was holding onto him. Anchoring him from the oblivion that he was falling into.

He met his savior's gaze, glimpsed the bluest eyes Lambda had ever seen. And the face Asbel had then...

He was worried—  _for_ him.

_How curious_ , Lambda thought, as he drifted off to sleep.  _How undeserved._

* * *

At first, he didn't understand Asbel's feelings. Lambda had hurt him as a child— had caused untold suffering to the boy and those around him. Yet, Asbel was determined to save him. Called him a  _friend._

Lambda thought he was a fool.

But all that changed when Asbel told him of his plan to stop Fodra. A strange panic seized him, and Lambda warned the boy that it was far too dangerous; tried to tell him that everything Asbel was would be destroyed.

He was caught unawares by how desperately he wanted Asbel to be  _safe._

He would never forget the look in Asbel's eyes— the cool determination, the warm trust in  _him_  to protect him.

Lambda never did follow through on his plan to take over Asbel's body.

After Fodra's defeat, it was surprising how naturally life continued. Protos Heis no longer hunted him, and Asbel's daily life was full of busyness. He enjoyed watching his friend struggle through his mountains of paperwork and rush all over Lhant; teased Asbel whenever he started on one of his love letters.

It was not a peaceful existence; at least not the one that Lambda longed for. But sometimes, as he watched over the boy he had grown to call friend, he wondered if there was more to life than what he had once thought.

"Would you want a body of your own?"

Asbel's question came as a surprise. He spoke up one day, as he took a break from his paperwork. The words— and the implication— was clear.

Lambda hesitated.  _"I do not deserve one,"_ he finally admitted.  _"Not after all I have done."_

"You saved the world," Asbel reminded him. Sheepishly, he added, "I promised you that you would be able to live. Living in my body, deprived of your own experiences... it's not right. Don't you want to live your own life, make your own decisions?"

_"You would entrust me with my freedom?"_

Asbel smiled. "You know the answer to that."

_"Asbel Lhant— I..."_ He faltered.

Asbel chuckled. Picking up his pen once more, he began to write.

"You're welcome, Lambda."

* * *

A body brought about strange, new experiences. Sensations he had all but forgotten— walking on soft earth, wading through the rippling streams... the scent of flowers in the air, the warmth of the sun against his skin— for the first time in his life, Lambda lived.

It was nothing like the absolute oblivion he once craved.

Time passed and Asbel's family grew, and the pain that once lurked in his memories slowly faded away. The lingering coldness of his isolation was dispelled by a family that had all but taken him in. Emotions that he once rejected now buoyed him, broke the tedium he had grown used to. It was a life he could never have envisioned, just scant years before.

He played with Asbel's children as they grew, and traveled with his friends to Lhant hill. Carved his name upon its trunk. He wandered the world, and eventually, he brought Fodra home. Every day was full of noise and laughter, and over the years, the emptiness within him disappeared and he felt... whole.

One day, Protos Heis brought him to a festival in a nearby town. She always seemed to drag him along her excursions, though he could never sense any wariness about her. Gone were the days of mistrust and anger, filled with a tentative friendship that still left him marveling at how their mutual paths had changed.

"Who would have thought," he remarked, as they watched the final fireworks fade from the night sky, "that I would live as I do now."

She laughed, gave him a crinkling smile that he still found odd on her face.

"You were a seed." Sensing his confusion, she explained, "You were kept in the dark, away from everything you needed to grow. Asbel gave you all of that." Then, tilting her head, she added, "You'll bloom into a beautiful flower, Lambda."

He snorted at the foolishness of the idea. But, as he breathed in the scent of sopherias, a comforting warmth filled him.

She smiled at him. Slipped her hand into his.

It was not the peace he had longed for, but he didn't mind.

* * *

Then, in an instant, the everyday life he had grown used to shattered.

Fire covered the sky. All around, there were screams. Houses burning, people fleeing. Arcs of eleth fell down upon Lhant like a terrifying, flaming rain.

It was by sheer chance he was there when it happened. Lambda raised his arms, and a purple barrier sprung from his fingertips. The artes glanced off his shield, dissolving into thin air.

A reprieve. He didn't let his shield down, took a moment to take stock of the situation.

A boy pulled a wounded man up, staggering away. Someone was giving orders to evacuate. The trampling sound of soldiers' feet told him the guard was approaching.

But off in the distance, he saw a mother, cradling the limp form of her child.

And blood stained the streets, as far as he could see.

There was a tightness in his throat, a weight in his gut. Once, he could have surveyed this scene without a tingle of emotion. But now—

Lambda ran towards the source of the attack.

He found his target at the center of the flames. From a distance, all Lambda could see was the flowing robes and light green hair. Horns were set atop the man's head, marking him not as human as he appeared. He stepped through the destruction all around Lhant, eyes cool and passionless as he glanced about. Eleth— he was drenched in it, pulsating through the air.

Finally, his gaze landed on Lambda. His purple eyes narrowed.

"So," he said calmly, "at last we meet."

Lambda attacked— for who else could have done this? He ran straight at the man, eleth flashing all around him, solidifying into blades.

His opponent caught his fist, knocked aside his blades with his other hand. Lambda broke away, just as a burst of eleth shot through where he once stood.

"Who are you?" Lambda snarled. "Why did you attack Lhant?"

"I am Solomos," the man replied. "And this—" he gestured around them— "is all for thy sake."

"My sake?!" His eyes widened. He had never met Solomos before, he was sure of it.

"Thou art a threat to Ephinea," Solomos returned. "Thou must be contained, or eliminated, by any means necessary."

"I have not sought the core in years," Lambda began. "I am no threat—"

"For now." Solomos met him with a steely gaze. "A creature with thy power... could thou truly say thou will not attack the core once more? A millennia, maybe two— I must destroy thee before thou take root, O seed of destruction."

Lambda faltered. He hadn't heard that name in years.

Then someone let out a war cry. Protos Heis leapt through the air, legs spinning. "Get away from him!" she yelled.

Solomos grimaced. Then, faster than the eye could blink, he had slipped past her defenses and grabbed her by the throat.

"Protos Heis!"

Solomos glanced at him. With a single, swift movement, he thrust Protos Heis into the ground.

Lambda roared. Eleth flowed through him, burning with an unsuppressed rage. He ran at Solomos, ready to tear the man limb from limb.

Solomos was ready for him. He was quick, dancing away from many of Lambda's blows. But Lambda called the eleth to him from the air, the earth— eventually, he would overwhelm Solomos with pure power.

Solomos's movements became more frantic; more desperate to land a final strike. Each punch, each kick— it  _hurt_ , but it was nothing new to Lambda. He healed them with the constantly regenerating flow of eleth. Came closer to grasping Solomos's heart with every second.

Then Solomos paused. He gathered eleth into his hand, and suddenly there was a flash of light; a pulse that knocked Lambda back.

"Enough!"

Solomos was panting, his posture no longer straight. But even now, there was no emotion in those purple eyes.

He held out a hand. A truce. "If we continue, we will destroy Ephinea."

Lambda glanced about, his throat tightening once more. There were long tears through the town streets, caused by eleth carving its way through cobblestone. Buildings around them had all but collapsed; and only the section behind Lambda was left unharmed.

Where Protos Heis lay.

"Leave us be." Lambda didn't beg. But the destruction that they— no,  _he_ _—_ caused—

He looked away. He didn't want to do this all over again.

"I cannot." Solomos's voice was a monotone. "Tend to thy companion. We will finish this another time."

He turned, and in a flash of light, he was gone.

And Lambda was left to cradle the broken body of his oldest friend.

* * *

He wasn't used to seeing Protos Heis this small. This weak. Her chest rose and fell, and the wounds she had sustained— several fractures, a broken rib— were slowly healing as he forced every ounce of eleth he could muster into her fragile body.

She hadn't regained consciousness, but she would be fine. She  _had_ to be. Protos Heis wouldn't die from something like this. Not for him.

He heard footsteps approach in the night. Gentle, measured steps; echoing off the darkened halls of Lhant Manor.

"It's not your fault," Asbel said quietly, coming to stand by his side.

Lambda swallowed. "Protos Heis's blood is on my hands."

"No, it's Solomos'—"

"He seeks only to protect Ephinea. He said as much."

"He'll kill you."

Asbel's words came out in a whisper.

Lambda glanced at him. Gone was the boy who had saved him, sixty years ago. The passion in his friend's eyes was now dulled with age and grief. His red hair was streaked with gray, and wrinkles covered a once-unmarred face. This burden— it would be too much for Asbel, now.

Lambda shook his head. "He will kill  _you_. And that, I cannot allow."

"No, Lambda!" Asbel's words were iron as always. "We beat Solomos before, even before we fought you—"

"And he has had time to regroup, and grow stronger." Lambda swallowed. "You are not as young as you used to be."

"There has to be another way!"

"Asbel—" he began.

"Promise me, Lambda!" His friend turned on him, drawing himself to his full height. Despite his age, he was still taller than his humanoid frame. "Promise me you won't do anything reckless."

Lambda glanced at the bed. Remembered the look on Protos Heis's face as he healed her wounds. A face that was meant to smile, now twisted into pain.

"I promise," he whispered.

* * *

The path was not hard to follow. Solomos had left a clear trail for him, and with Lhant in a panic, it was easy for Lambda to slip by the guards unnoticed.

He found the ancient sentinel sitting in a clearing, just a stone's throw away from Lhant. Solomos nodded, and Lambda took his outstretched hand.

There was a flash of light, and the earth beneath his feet shifted. When the light cleared, Lambda glanced outside. There, Ephinea floated; a vibrant blue orb in the darkness of space. Fodra lay on the other side, red and imposing. And there they were, caught in between.

The Zhonecage.

Solomos waited patiently for him to take in his surroundings. He floated, arms crossed, as he watched him.

Finally, Lambda asked, "Why did you attack Lhant?"

Solomos scrutinized him. "Thou were there."

"Then why did you leave?"

"Thou seemed to understand. Perhaps, thou would hear me out."

"After all that you've done?" Lambda clenched his fist even as he struggled to keep his voice calm. "I could destroy you, right here—"

"And Ephinea would be destroyed, in turn." Solomos floated towards him. "I am one who oversees the Satellite Defense System and the aquasphere. If I fall—"

He trailed off, but Lambda caught on to what he meant.

"Ephinea would be defenseless."

Solomos nodded.

"I could still end you." Lambda scowled at him.

"And does thou still claim to be a creature of peace?" Solomos's emotionless stare pierced through him. "Thou are a monster, Lambda. Tis why I must do what must be done. If there is even the slightest possibility that thou will bring destruction to the core, I must eliminate that possibility. That is my purpose." He arched an eyebrow at him. "If it were thy charge, would thou not do the same?"

_Purpose._ For the longest time, Lambda's purpose was to live, no matter the cost. But that was no longer case. In the blink of an eye, the joy and fulfillment he had found had become integral to what he thought  _'living'_  was. He would have never had that, were it not for Asbel.

Asbel, who now stood over his daughter's bed. Who wanted to protect him. His family, hurt, because of a creature who never deserved their kindness. Who cherished it, nonetheless.

He couldn't blame Solomos, really.

With a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down. "I will not let you harm the humans."

"Patience, Lambda. This does not need to end in any more deaths." Solomos landed in front of him, his eyes softening. "Even thy own."

Lambda eyed him. "What do you mean?"

Solomos sliced through the air, a rift appearing from his fingertips. "A dimension between worlds. Much like the ones the valkines guardians dwell in."

"You seek to imprison me."

He nodded. "Thou will be unable to hurt anybody else, free to live thy life as thou wishes."

Lambda peered into the void. There was nothing. Not a speck of light as far as the eye could see.

"And as long as I stay there, you will not harm anyone?"

Solomos shrugged. "My mission was to imprison and destroy thee. If thou does not leave, does not return to Ephinea or Fodra— there is nothing to fear."

But it wasn't fear that filled his mind now. It was a bittersweet taste on his tongue, the erratic beating of his inhuman heart. As he stood at the edge of the dimensions, some part of him recoiled at the thought of ever stepping into the void.

Solomos rested a reassuring hand on Lambda's shoulder. His face was as emotionless as ever.

"It was what thou wished for, was it not?"

* * *

It was dark.

Unending, all-consuming dark. There was no light here. No warmth.

There was nothing.

Once, this was all Lambda dreamed of. A void where nothing could touch him. Where nothing could hurt him. Where even Protos Heis wouldn't be able to find him, away from Ephinea.

It was funny how a few decades could seem a lifetime to one who lived a thousand years. Funny how, when he closed his eyes, he could barely remember the pain he had once endured. Instead, he felt the sunlight against his skin. Heard the noise of a bustling town. Protos Heis's laughter in his ears, as she dragged him to the ends of the world. Remembered the lazy days, picking cryas shards from the riverbeds with Asbel's children.

The soft, warm touch of somebody's hand.

Love.

Lambda didn't cry. He didn't have a heart that was capable of it. But as he settled down for an eternal sleep, some part of him grieved for all that he had thrown away.

In this void, he would damn himself.

But he wouldn't deprive those he loved of what they had gifted him.

And in the darkness, Lambda dreamed he was with them once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Two months ago, when I first saw the prompts for Tales of Whump Week, I wanted to write a 'bad end' AU fic where Lambda got everything he wanted pre-game except by the time he got it, he had already grown so that what he wanted was now a nightmare to him. It was actually kinda hard to write this because I wanted to make it angsty but not overstep into melodrama, and I hope that I managed to succeed in that regard.


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